My New Year's Resolution is to not have more than three homicidal thoughts about the same person in one day. I found that there is just too much negativity in my life right now. So no more thinking about stuffing a certain co-worker's hideously deformed face into a toilet bowl, defecating on her and then giving her a swirly of death. Damn. Strike one.Like I was saying, not enough love and harmony in my life. Maybe I'll start meditating. That's it. Nice...calm thoughts...about ripping her hair out in ratty clumps, then smothering her bald head in peanut butter and letting a rabid woodchuck gnaw on her until she becomes just a neck. Shit! Strike two!
Quick! Quick, think about something nice! Nice pretty kitties and cute little puppy dogs...are what she probably eats for breakfast! She must die!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh, fuck it. We all know this isn't going to work out. This site is named 'Cynic' for a reason, dammit. My new New Year's Resolution is to eat ice cream. And more chocolate. With pizza. And French fries. I can do that.
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