Friday, April 07, 2006

Dear Ho-Bag (Part IV)

It's been awhile, hasn't it? I believe the last time we spoke had something to do with you leaving used condoms in the building parking lot. How I've missed you...

That's why I was pleasantly surprised when I awoke to your siren-like screams at 3:30 a.m. and subsequent car doors slamming, ignition-turning and squealing tires. I gather from your loud phone conversation at approximately 4:20 a.m. that you made it clear to "Brian", in no uncertain terms, that he was not welcome back at your apartment.

You proceeded to cry for at least 20 minutes longer, which I'll admit kept me awake. It wasn't so much the sobbing, but the occasional outbursts of "FUCKER!" that jolted me away from the cusp of REM.

I also couldn't help noticing as I walked to my car to head to work for the day that all of Brian's belongings seemed to be haphazardly strewn over the apartment grounds. Was the sock I found on my trunk meant as a gift? A memento of all the fond memories we share?

In closing, I would just like to thank you - again - for including me in your life. After all, if it weren't for you, who would I blame for my lack of focus and black under-eye circles?

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