Do You Tag?

My employer forced me to take an HTML coding class recently. Don't get me wrong, I know my way around a computer pretty well: when I first learned the shortcut key for switching between screens (Alt + Tab) to make it look like I was working on my AP Bio lab when really I was searching for free music (it was the age of Napster and I was in love with Portishead) I knew it was something that would aid all my future ambitions as an employee in an office atmosphere. Other than that, I check my e-mail obsessively and can make a mean PowerPoint presentation.

After 5 weeks of classes (2.5 hours each Wednesday from 6:30 p.m. to 9 p.m.) at a local University I can now write a p-tag. That's "paragraph" for all you technically unsavvy types. And that's about it. The rest of the class was spent listening to the instructor ramble about websites that help teach HTML code.

Beth: a woman about 20 pounds overweight, disheveled hair under a Yankees cap, loose-fitting sun dresses made out of what appeared to be the same material as long johns, covered by an enormous sweater with wooden toggles, an old pair of ratty Asics and to top the whole ensemble off, a fluorescent orange hunting vest. No, this isn't some vagabond. It was my instructor. The poster-child for all that is nerdy. The Queen of Dweebs. And despite her keen misunderstanding of the sartorial term "mix and match", I couldn't help but be fascinated by her. Almost like a zoo animal.

"And on your left you will see the North Atlantic Computer-Weevil. Delicate and shy, they must be kept in a quiet environment, lit only with 17-inch or higher flat-panel LCD screens. Watch, as she darts out of her hole to grab a pop-tart our staff has given her. Majestic!"