Look Lively

Ha! You see what I did there? With the title? Look lively, get it! Because she looks like a corpse.

Maaaaan, you must have really pissed off People for them to publish that one.

Dear NYC Women

I don't care WHAT Cosmopolitan said about the return of the Gaucho pant; they lied to you. They are many things, but they are definitely not flattering. When a pair of...pants? Would you call them pants? Regardless, when a pair of ANYthing can make a coked-out 92 lb. super model's hips look fat (not that I'm suggesting that all models snort the white stuff to stay thin, because they do), you know you shouldn't wear them (refer to picture numero uno). But if you insist on wearing them, random stranger, please do not wear them with clogs sans socks. Please do not wear them with clogs with socks. You know what? Just avoid this whole disaster and don't wear them.

Also, random stranger on the 6 train? Taking fashion advice from Mischa Barton miiiiight not be the best way to go (exhibit number two). Oh yes, I noticed you with your ugly jersey-knit-micro-mini-dress OVER your pair of acid-wash TAPERED jeans that you should have thrown out in 1986, at the very latest. I know...I know. Shh, shh...it's OK. We'll get you some help.