Paris Mantis Struts Her Tranny Stuff

What up, bitches?! It's me, your favorite wookie-eyed tranny! In ski goggles! And yellow pants that actually have the ability to make my malnourished, Red Bull fueled corpse look fat and show off a raging case of camel toe!

But seriously you guys, I'm here for the message. 2 B Free wants its fans to know that they have the freedom to wear clothing. And not just any clothing, because some clothing isn't as hot as other clothing. And then sometimes when I'm hot I don't like wearing any clothing, but not "hot" as in "oh my God, Nicole, those ski goggles look hot on you", but more like, "oh my God, Nicole, it's so hot outside that if I wear clothing I'm going to start sweating and it will majorly start streaking my Mystic Tan".

Umm...what was I saying?

I wonder if Baby Luv will think my hair is trying to attack him and he'll bite me again...

Wookie Strikes Again

I once had a math teacher in 6th grade with a glass eye. He could look in two opposite directions of the classroom at the same time, much like the Wookie-eyed tranny shown at the left, here.

My point is, Mr. Hlavenski could remove his lazy glass eye as a party trick and Paris Hilton is invited to the AMA's.

Paris Loves The Police

Everyone's favorite transvestite-wookie-eyed-attention whore, Paris Hilton and Greek boyfriend (No, the new one. He's a shipping heir, too. No, I don't know if Greece's Gross National Product is greasy-haired boyfriends for Paris Hilton) were in a hit-and-run car accident early yesterday morning. Aparently, "hit-and-run" and "driving while intoxicated" don't mean much if you've ever been featured in an amateur, night-vision home sex video.