Friday, May 12, 2006

It's Universal


I've been busy, ok? Spare me the complaints. I know that Britney Spears confirmed she's pregnant on Letterman a few days ago, ok? It's one of those universal constancies that should never surprise anyone. A white-trash bottle-blonde got knocked up again by her cheatin', good-for-nuthin', two-timin', beer-drinkin' layabout husband. Other universal constancies include:
  • Paris Hilton is a whore
  • Tom Cruise is a psychotic homosexual whose pastimes include trying to convince people he's not a pillow-biter and wearing lifts in his shoes to his movie premiers
  • Ugly girls like Ashley Simpson get nose jobs to make themselves feel better about themselves
  • Star Jones will be ugly no matter what her weight, just like Nicole Richie. And, with a side-by-side comparison, you will see that Star Jones is taking that constancy a step further by actually morphing into a fat Nicole Richie

1 comment:

Puffins said...

Actually, Tom made ME bite the pillow. So you're not completely correct. But there was sweat and pillows so you were within vicinity.