This Is Me Not Being Surprised

Dear Neighboring Office Worker Who I Sometimes See in The Hallway and Usually Ignore Because You Remind Me Too Much of a Girl I Hated in Junior High School Yes I Realize That's Immature and No I Don't Care:

I can't see how there might be a soap shortage, when at any point someone from your office has been in the lou while I was present, they failed to wash their hands prior to exiting the room.

How can you not wash your hands after you tinkle? Our building is too cheap to stock two-ply, so I'm guessing that unless you grab enough toilet paper to wipe a hippo's coochie, you're going to get some dribble.

If you're not going to wash your hands despite this, at least wash your hands while SOMEONE ELSE IS WATCHING YOU.

You want to invest in something? Buy some Lysol disinfectant spray so I can stop using paper towels to open the bathroom door/stall door/flush the toilet/turn on the faucet.

Also, I'm not above stealing change left out in the open to support my caffeine addiction, so that might not be such a good idea.

P.S. - Dictionary.com. That is all.