Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Xenu's Second Coming

So if you haven't already heard, Katie Holmes gave birth to her first child after a one-year gestation period. I would have posted it sooner, had I not been out to lunch with Puffins (Bryant Park Grill Veggie Sandwich on toasted Multigrain bread - the only thing I could have eaten due to their animal-flesh-heavy menu - yeah...not so good).

The baby's name is Suri, after it's mother Surrogate. Get it?! HA! Anyway, apparently it's not deformed and there's no word yet on it being able to move things with its mind.

In other news, Tom Cruise's arch nemesis, Brooke Shields, also gave birth to her second child. No word yet on whether she is contemplating suicide, but psychiatrists are standing by.

6 comments:

Unknown said...

That poor kid has no chance. All looks and total mush between the ears - if not naturally, by virtue of the brainwashing it's about to receive.

A case for govt intervention perhaps?

Wombat

Min said...

Can't be any worse than the Spears-Federline spawn.

But seriously, this entire fiasco is one giant PR disaster. If the government doesn't intervene, I'm sure the Scientology brethren are none too pleased with the couch-jumping-amazing-praising-placenta-eating-joking antics of Mr. Cruise...he might mysteriously disappear on a body detox retreat.

Unknown said...

I smell a reality show here: Children of the Wacko and Indigent compete for being Most Messed Up.

There are so many contestants, from your favourites (The Federlines) to mine (Mrs Guy Richie's sad littl'uns.)

Hours of entertainment.

As for Famille Cruise, we can always hope that the spaceship really does arrive and teleport them away. Them and Travolta's mob. Tired of that nutter as well.

Wombat

Min said...

Oooh...point well noted. Madonna's kids I feel bad for...Michael Jackson's kids should just be euthanized before they reach sentiency.

Puffins said...

...maybe they can all use the Pee-Wee Herman day care institute.

Michael Jackson is already on the board.

Min said...

Meccah-lekkah-hi, man. Meccah-lekkah-hi.