Friday Bullets

• Happy birthday to the woman who birthed me; I blame you for the way I am. Just kidding. But really, I am this way because of you. It's a good thing, I swear. Much fun planned for tomorrow with lots of good food, beauty, friends and sangria.
• You ever sit down at your desk and think "Wow...I really...hate almost everyone I work with"? That's my day today.
• We have a new kid at work that laughs like that retard from Beavis & Butthead. But instead of calling him Butthead I call him Asshead because somehow it feels more grown up and I feel justified for making fun of another human being for the way they laugh. But I mostly hate him because he laughs at the most inappropriate times: "Uh-huh, uh-huh-huh. Min, I kind of backed into your car with my Camry. Uh-huh, uh-huh-huh-huh."
• Happy Friday. Remember: Cynic hates you, but you love her for it.