Vincent Gallo Has Large Ego, Probably Not Much Else

I know, I know...you don't even know who Vincent Gallo is. Suffice to say his greatest accomplishment is getting blown by Chloe Sevigny (yeah...who?) in The Brown Bunny (hand to God, it was a movie. In theaters. O.k., like, two theaters, but that's more than I can say about my movie. Which doesn't even have a cast. Or a script).

Where was I? Oh, right, I'm an unknown, starving artist and Vincent Gallo is selling his sperm for $1 million. Good news if you're black; he won't let you have his baby. Not so good news if you're the direct descendant of a Hitler Youth; you get a $50,000 discount. For the full ad and to read about the approximate size of his junk: http://www.vgmerchandise.com/misc.html.

What little I know about Mr. Gallo (and by little I mean nothing) his ad, if indeed real, is probably flowery socio-political commentary on Nazi abortions. Or something like that. Because Vincent Gallo is an artist man. You just don't understand. What I don't understand is why you would post your own mugshots on the front page of your website. But that's just me. I'm old skool.