The State Fair of Texas is a mere 17 days away for the Lonestar State. You can bet I'll be there to gaze on the herds of grotesquely overweight people as they gorge themselves on...well, just about anything dipped in batter and served swimming in oil.
The Big Tex Choice Awards contest evaluates new concession stand entrants and their artery-clogging wares, sampling each of the foods before finally coming to a decision on two categories: Best Taste and Most Creative. The past few years winners, along with this year's lucky gourmands include the following:
2005 Most Creative Viva Las Vegas FRIED Ice Cream
2005 Best Taste FRIED PB, Jelly and Banana Sandwich
2006 Most Creative FRIED Coke
2006 Best Taste FRIED Praline Perfection
2007 Most Creative Deep FRIED Latte
2007 Best Taste Texas FRIED Cookie Dough
2008 Most Creative FRIED Banana Split
2008 Best Taste Chicken FRIED Bacon
2009 Most Creative Deep FRIED BUTTER (Editor's note: Are you fucking serious?!)
2009 Best Taste Fernie's Deep FRIED Peaches & Cream
You fat bastards.
*That's a picture of the chicken fried bacon.