Dentist - Round Dos

Ok, ok...so imagine my surprise when I'm sitting in the dentist's chair (you know the one...with the evil mechanical arm holding all of the deadly needles and rat poison?) and I hear the hygienist say "So did you hear that Britney kicked Kevin out?"

At this point, I get that weird feeling I used to get seeing my 2nd grade teacher out in public. Like, you have a life outside of torturing people? Amazing! More amazing, and probably very sad for me, is I just got celebrity gossip from the dental hygienist.

The above pics of Brit and Cletus Mc K-Fed really hold no relevance to the post, except for the fact that I love pointing out how hideous the pair really is. As a side note, the Cletus pictures are of him having his credit card rejected at Blockbuster. Karma's a bitch, huh?

Candy Is For Rotten, Dirty Little Children

I had the opportunity of visiting Satan...erm...I mean, my dentist...yesterday. While I was waiting, two little boys walked in behind their father, who looked somewhat like a cadaver, and so at first I naturally thought they were Trick-or-Treating. Until I realized the irony of asking a dentist for candy. Then I realized the irony of sending your children to the dentist on Halloween.

Johnny: "Why can't we dress up like all the other kids and go to stranger's houses to beg for candy that may or may not have razor blades jutting out from them?"

Cadaver Dad: "Because candy is for children who haven't been baptized and if you eat it you'll go to Hell and mommy will hate you."